Thursday, February 16, 2006

Two Minute Egg Theory

This is a very important theory. Newton referred to this theory of mine when he thought out the fundamental principles of his theory of gravitation, namely, that every particle of matter attracts every other particle, and he suspected that the attraction varied as the product of their masses and inversely as the square of the distance between them.

Now what in the hell could the Two Minute Egg Theory have to do with Newton you ask. Newton began to describe the physical world in which we live and therefore the same world in which eggs live.

And long ago people simultaneously figured out that boiling an egg for two minutes provided what they thought was the perfect balance of cooked consistency and loose natural consistency (if you ask me it's grosssssss!). And for centuries people have subsequently requested, prepared, delivered, & eaten Two Minute Eggs.

So - again how does this relate to Newton? This is important so listen up - as much as Newton defined gravity and its existence and even calculation - so did he corroborate my Two Minute Egg Theory. There is no Two Minute Egg that is done before two minutes - is it not a two minute egg if it cooks for three minutes. IT IS ONLY A TWO MINUTE EGG IF IT COOKS FOR EXACTLY TWO MINUTES.

And therein lies the brilliance of the Two Minute Egg Theory: Not in all of time past and all of time yet to come can a Two Minute Egg be done UNTIL TWO MINUTES HAVE PASSED! If you are expecting, if you want, if you hoped, if you planned, if you squeezed your buttocks together and prayed for a result and you seek it before its time - it won't happen. NOTHING - ABOSULTELY NOTHING - can be achieved before it is DONE, FINISHED, COMPLETE, WORKING, EXISTENT, OPERATIVE - and any hoping, praying and wishing you do along the way won't change that.

So get real - get with the deal - and last but not least, either wait the two minutes or change your order.

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